Being Controlled

Imagine something controlling you. Telling you that you can’t go out to eat with your best friends. Telling you that you can’t work out. Something telling you that you can’t go to that Vikings game you’ve been wanting to go to for months. Something is making you curl up in pain and wonder if it will ever go away. Something that controls your life. It controls how people look at you. For me, the thing controlling my life was called Endometriosis.


I’m 25 years old. All I can hear are all the voices throughout my life saying that I’m too young for that. I’m too young to have this disorder. I’ll start at the beginning. I’m 16 years old and I’m studying in my room. I’m laying down on my bed reading my school book. I fall asleep. I never take naps, my mom thinks that’s a little weird, but leaves me be. 30 minutes later I wake up screaming, I remember getting down off the bed and crouching down in pain. I black out. My mom gets me into the car and we go to the emergency room. I don’t remember much except for the bumps hurting really bad as we drive. We get to the ER and I don’t remember anything else. They told me I had ovarian cysts that ruptured. I had no idea what those were at the time, but my friend Google sure helped me out after I left the ER. I spent the week after flat on my back in bed. I stayed home from school. I was white as a ghost. I didn’t think much of these cysts and went on with my life.


If you are dealing with or have dealt with Endometriosis, haven’t been diagnosed yet, have a spouse who has it, follow my painful journey, how it affected all aspects of my life, and how I overcame it and didn’t let it stop my dreams of becoming a mother, wife and the best version of myself.